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Time For A Change?

Quite often we accept day-to-day dissatisfaction and disappointments without question. Or it may be that we are too busy or preoccupied with daily living that we are not aware of some unhappiness. It may be that we are too afraid or worried about making changes.

A new year is an excellent time to take stock, to re-evaluate your life. You may wish to change small things, for example: getting more exercise, giving up a 'bad habit', saving money. It may be that a whole new fresh start is needed. An example of this for gay men might be making a decision to 'come out'. It could also mean finishing a relationship or beginning a new one.

It may be that you wish to make your life more gay or less gay: that is that you wish to meet more gay people and feel more confident and happy about being gay, or that you are dissatisfied with a life that is gay ghettoised and that you want to pursue interests which are not necessarily related to your sexuality.

Whatever changes you want to make it is necessary to begin to think about what is desirable and what is undesirable about your present situation. What are you happy with and what things do you want to change? Imagine yourself in a years time, five years time and so on, and imagine where you want to be and what you want to be doing. Be realistic. Wanting to be a millionaire may be less possible than finding a new boyfriend (although you never know, if you find a rich enough boyfriend).

But however far off it may seem at the moment, think about ways that you can achieve your goals. For example, if you want to meet new friends then think about what changes you need to make in your life to achieve this. This could be anything from advertising in the small ads to joining as many groups, classes or clubs as you can manage. Use your imagination!

Of course, real, external life changes can only happen if there is a necessary internal change. That is, you might have to make changes in your thoughts, attitudes or feelings about yourself and your world. If you feel unconfident about your desirability then it will be more difficult to meet a new boyfriend, for example.

So, before making life changes, consider what you might need to change about yourself. What qualities do you feel you want to develop? Do you need to be more assertive, patient, sexy, relaxed, open? Are there particular skills that you need to acquire? Do you need to make changes to where you live or work, or your appearance? Stand back and look at the links between internal and external change.

Making a fresh start will mean valuing your good qualities and attributes and then putting some thought and consideration into ways and means of reaching a more fulfilled and happier life… start now!

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