we accept day-to-day dissatisfaction and disappointments without question.
Or it may be that we are too busy or preoccupied with daily living that we
are not aware of some unhappiness. It may be that we are too afraid or
worried about making changes.
A new year is an excellent time to take stock, to re-evaluate your life.
You may wish to change small things, for example: getting more exercise,
giving up a 'bad habit', saving money. It may be that a whole new fresh
start is needed. An example of this for gay men might be making a decision
to 'come out'. It could also mean finishing a relationship or beginning a
It may be that you wish to make your life more gay or less gay: that is that
you wish to meet more gay people and feel more confident and happy about
being gay, or that you are dissatisfied with a life that is gay ghettoised
and that you want to pursue interests which are not necessarily related to
Whatever changes you want to make it is necessary to begin to think about
what is desirable and what is undesirable about your present situation. What
are you happy with and what things do you want to change? Imagine yourself
in a years time, five years time and so on, and imagine where you want to be
and what you want to be doing. Be realistic. Wanting to be a millionaire may
be less possible than finding a new boyfriend (although you never know, if
you find a rich enough boyfriend).
But however far off it may seem at the moment, think about ways that you can
achieve your goals. For example, if you want to meet new friends then think
about what changes you need to make in your life to achieve this. This could
be anything from advertising in the small ads to joining as many groups,
classes or clubs as you can manage. Use your imagination!
Of course, real, external life changes can only happen if there is a
necessary internal change. That is, you might have to make changes in your
thoughts, attitudes or feelings about yourself and your world. If you feel
unconfident about your desirability then it will be more difficult to meet a
new boyfriend, for example.
So, before making life changes, consider what you might need to change about
yourself. What qualities do you feel you want to develop? Do you need to be
more assertive, patient, sexy, relaxed, open? Are there particular skills
that you need to acquire? Do you need to make changes to where you live or
work, or your appearance? Stand back and look at the links between internal
and external change.
Making a fresh start will mean valuing your good qualities and attributes
and then putting some thought and consideration into ways and means of
reaching a more fulfilled and happier life… start now!